You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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