Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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