8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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