But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
