hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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