Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
