My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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