i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
