So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
