GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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