Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
