Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
