Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
