Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
