The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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