How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
