I bet he comes in French.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
