we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
