I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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