seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
