I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
