Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
