So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
