I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
