Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
