My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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