a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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