Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
