I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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