Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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