Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
