bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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