I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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