in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I want a musical about memes.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
