It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
