Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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