his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
