you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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