He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
