She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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