..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
