My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
