I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
