is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
