Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
