he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
