One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
