just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
