oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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