So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
