i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize