Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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