He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
